I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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