In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
