What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
