Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
