how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
