the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
