at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
