why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
