She's JV to your varsity
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize