i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
