I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
