I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
only you would photoshop your dick
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
