I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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