i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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