yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
