how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
