I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
