just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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