Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
