Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
