He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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