The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
