she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
