He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
