im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
