Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
