There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
