And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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