so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
