Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
