so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
