so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
