take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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