Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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