your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
