if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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