Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
