and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
