yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
