I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
