so that wasnt chicken after all
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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