if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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