420 ftw
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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