ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is Oprah even human
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize