yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
