i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
