I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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