remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize