Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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