Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
