She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
