Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
