i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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