Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You don't make any sense
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