Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
