we have pet lesbian snakes
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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