in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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