Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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