I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
