Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
