did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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