so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
