i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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