if i can run in heels then i can drive
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
