Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
