Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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