We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
