You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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