Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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