You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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